Dating has become one of the most discussed realities among youths and adolescents. From teens at the tender ages of twelve (12) and thirteen (13) to young adults ready and ripe for marriage, dating is the most trendy topic.
I shared some findings on a research I personally undertook in my recent article on dating where I asserted that;
70% of youths and adolescents are either dating or have dated before.
25% are seriously considering dating and are held back by a lack of opportunity and for fear of the unknown.
And the remaining 5% are either not interested or simply less concerned about dating.
Now here comes the big question. Why the fuss about dating?
Why does it seem like your life is totally dependent on dating?
Why are you seriously considering dating? Why are you desperate about going into a relationship?
I have got a bunch of reasons why I think you feel dating is a must for you. Mind you, none of these reasons are reasons enough for you to date.
Yes! You heard me and I would write it again.
None of the reasons for your desperation to date are good enough for you to date.
No matter how good or healthy your reason may seem I put it to you that you are not ready to date except you have met the foremost prerequisite for dating.
If you do not know or have not met this prerequisite for dating then you are not ready for dating. Even though you have met the prerequisite for dating, I bet that when you look at the reasons why you are desperate about dating you would have a rethink!
So what are the reasons for your dating desperation and why do I claim they are not reasons enough.
#1. You Feel Incomplete Without a Date
You are so desperate about dating and going into a relationship because you believe that being single makes you incomplete.
You have filled your mind with the belief that you need that boy or girl to feel whole. This is one of the greatest deceit of all-time.
The feeling of incompleteness without a date is the number one reason why you and many other youths want to date.
Here is why I feel this is not reason enough for you to enter into a relationship.
You do not need any man, woman, boy or girl to be complete. God has made you complete; spirit, soul and body. Therefore every other thing you can think of is a mere addition including a life partner.
If you want to date so that you will feel complete then you are not ready to date. You do not need that boy or girl to feel complete. You have being made complete by God already.
#2. You Need Someone Special to Love and Treat You Specially
I had a discussion with a lady and we began to talk about relationships. Then she told me of her intentions to go into a relationship and I asked why?
Her answer is point number 2. She wants someone special to treat her specially. She wants someone who would love her specially and treat her as a special person.
As lovely as this reason may seem, this lady in question does not have a picture of who her dream man should be.
I asked her about the qualities she wants her dream man should possess and she was confuse and mute, unable to answer. Why?
She has clouded every bit of foresight she has with the thoughts of going into a relationship because she wants special treatment from a special someone.
For this lady friend of mine, just any guy would go. Regardless of his spiritual conviction, his intellectual and moral base. As long as the guy can make her feel special.
If this is your reason then like I told her I am also telling you that you are not ready to date.
Why do I think so?
You may end up with this person who makes you feel special but then a time comes when you no longer maintain your special status to this person and then what follows is a break-up.
A good percentage of break-ups recorded comes from this very fact. You may feel special to the person when you both meet for the first time, you start dating and then after three (3) months you are no more special to him/her, next you break up.
For someone like me who takes everyone I meet as being very special, if this is your criterion for wanting to date as a lady then you would think I want to date you meanwhile I am only being me.
You do not need anyone to make you feel special. An elder I know usually say "you are a special specie". You have being made special and no one is given the ability to make you feel special.
#3. You Have Little or No Control Over Your Heart and Emotions
This is the root cause of your desperation. You desperately want to date because you have not gained control over you heart and your emotions.
This point is very peculiar to me. I looked back at the years when I seriously wanted to date and now that I am least concerned about dating and I discovered I had gain a great deal of control over my heart and emotions.
This point is also associated to why people cheat. When one enters into a relationship because of his/her desperation, the supposed "love" gradually begins to fade away when he/she sees a better partner.
Your heart would always make you believe you are in love meanwhile you're simply lusting.
Funny enough, your heart will never be satisfied. It will continue to "lust" after more people and make you want to date them. You may get the person you want to date and before long you are considering another.
#4. You are Living Without an Understanding of Your Purpose.
Yes! You desperately want to date because you do not know that God has placed you on this earth for a purpose.
You have neither realised this nor have begun working towards its actualization.
Everyone on earth was born with a purpose. God was intentional about creating you. He created you to solve a problem and fill up a vacuum on the earth.
If you have discovered your purpose and have begun to work towards the fulfilment of your purpose you won't be desperate about going into a relationship.
Idleness is an igniting factor for dating desperation and a lack of understanding of God-ordained purpose sponsors idleness.
When you're working consciously towards the fulfilment of your purpose on earth you would have no time to be desperate about dating.
For instance, I have got a very busy schedule which encompasses domestic work for my parents, administrative work for the adolescents in my local church, Bible study coordination for my Campus Fellowship, writing for Gospelcaster, Inc and so on.
I barely have time for play, television and even sleep sometimes, where would I get the time to seek a girlfriend, talk more of keeping one.
My writing schedule alone for Gospelcaster, Inc is enough to keep my mind from wandering away to thoughts of having a girlfriend.
You can't be diligently walking towards the actualization of your purpose in life and be thinking of dating.
Ultimately, if you know what the foremost prerequisite for dating is you would know if you can go ahead with your dating plans but I caution you if any of the following reasons happen to ignite desperation to date then you are not ready.
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